Things a Labrador should remember

If you want to look like you are a well-raised Labrador, you have to know the rules. For those Labradors, that don't know yet, here some golden tips...

1.	The garbage men are not stealing our things.
2.	Don't stand up suddenly, when you're under the coffee table.
3.	Shake your coat, before going into the house.
4.	Don't lick a cup, when there is hot tea in it.
5.	Don't eat the cat's food. Not before they had a chance to eat it, not after they had a chance to eat it, and especially not when they have thrown up their food.
6.	Do not chew on tooth brushes.
7.	Don't vomit in the car.
8.	No rolling over dead animals, just because they smell so good.
9.	These crispy things in the cat's box are no food.
10.	Don't eat paper handkerchiefs or diapers.
11.	The trashcan contains no cookies.
12.	Do not search for the last piece of clean carpet, when you feel sick.
13.	Don't chew on pencils. Especially not the red ones, they might think you are bleeding.
14.	In the car, all windows have to be closed, when it is raining.
15.	When you hear a doorbell: don't bark. It's on TV.
16.	No stealing of underwear and running with it in the backyard.
17.	The couch is not a towel. Nor are trousers.
18.	Your head doesn't belong in the refrigerator.
19.	Do not bite in the hand of a policeman, when he is handed over a drivers license.
20.	Don't play tugging-games with the underwear of your family, when they are on the toilet.
21.	Do not eat dental floss, you don't want to know how difficult you get rid of that stuff.
22.	Do not roll in the dirt after bathing.
23.	Pushing your nose in someone's crotch, is not an acceptable welcome greeting.
24.	The cat is no squeaking toy. When you play with him and he squeaks, it is not a good sign.
25.	Do not lick your crotch in the middle of the living room, if there are visitors.